Family Memories

So this isn't really family memories so much as just a memory that I have. Retrospective introspection (oooh fancy language.) I was watching Project Life Size and of course was inspired to do a entry, as I always am. I kinda want to see if I can do video entries. I don't know why I wouldn't be able to, host them to you tube or something. SIDE TRACKED SORRY.

Anyway, on PLS they were talking about their childhood heros and one of the girls said that they wished that they had magical powers when they were a kid. I think we all did to an extent, and still do to an extent as well. I was a MEGA anime/cartoon kid. My first obsession was Card Captor Sakura. I remember wishing to be in that universe, and it was because of that show that I had one of the few dreams that I remember from childhood. I still kinda do wish I was in that universe with the Clow cards. I remember wanting to use the create to make an amazing house for my mother and father to live in.

It still...alarms me that I was such a selfless child. We all were. When I think about being a parent some day I always get a feeling of nervousness. How can I be remotely as good of a parent as my parents were. Will I remember all the things I want to tell them when I actually have my children all those years away? Morals, right and wrong, will they like what I like? Will I embarrass them? Am I going to be as tolerant as I dream I'll be?

When I think about my childhood I am always struck with how awesome of a job my parents did. I have so much love and gratitude for them. Even now, when I start getting nostalgic for those simpler days with some bitterness attached from current situations. I remember who my parents made me and I can't get mad at them for very long.

I think I made my parents into superheros. More than human, perfect, they have the answer for everything and never made mistakes. I don't know if it's my age perspective that has shattered that role I made for them or if my parents just changed. Maybe my mother is lost somewhere between my 16 year old self and my 20 year old self now. I want to go back and find her, hold her hand and bring her back with me.

Is it my place to "correct" my mother into who I think she should be? Or is this who she is supposed to be all along and I just have to get over myself and see my mother as who she has grown into.

-K